As a new school year hits Lubbock, turn over in this college town is once again very evident. Lots of new faces, friends, and traffic (at least it's traffic to me, though the uber-urban metroplex and Houstonian students would beg to differ, I'm sure). The newcomers awe at the flat, dry lands of West Texas for the first time. In this flood of new people, there comes lots of meeting and greeting where one is often confronted with the question, "What do you do?" I ask it all the time. However, this year answering that question is definitely different for this gal- harder in some ways, better in others. In years past, I was able to confidently say I either studied or worked as an SLP. As of today, I am really tempted to answer, "I don't," and leave it at that. If that were not false, I totally would. I love the baffling look that follows. However, it must be told that I am transitioning to the role of homemaker, thank you very much. That is more than meets the eye, for sure.
As a daughter of modern America, I have often felt it was both my duty and exercising of freedom to take on a career. No laziness here, people. No railroaded damsel in distress, friends. Independent woman here, thank you very much. And I am capable, obviously. I did it. And you know what? I didn't feel any more fulfilled or free or whatever. In fact, I felt enslaved to bureaucracy, time, and money (or "the man," as they say). Been there, done that, and totally unimpressed.
Does that mean I'm at home full time indefinitely? Certainly not. I don't foresee that being true long term. I am thankful for the freedom I have to choose somewhere in the middle. If needed, I can provide or supplement for the needs my family. But I'm fortunate Collin takes on the primary provider role, as is biblically fitting. As life progresses and changes I can take up whatever slack I need to, but for now we're good and I'm on a little at-home detox. Praise God for His grace to us in this (yes, Collin thinks this is a grace too, just ask him).
At first, there was this nagging feeling of my betrayal to those who worked so hard for my right to work. It's what made obedience to what I felt was God's call for me to stay home so difficult. What about the women around the word who would love to be able to just have any job and provide for themselves but legally can't in their countries? Nagging betrayal, indeed... But you know what? I have the freedom to pursue a career, not a duty, and I will view it as such. Those who have gone before me did not labor so I could be enslaved to my job. They worked for liberty in regards to options, my friends- options not all women have. For this option I am eternally thankful. I will pray for the same liberty for women around the world and pursue change where I can.
As for the balance between duty and liberty/option with work- I read this today, and it seems the Dutch ladies may have this figured out better than the rest of us. The book Dutch Women Don't Get Depressed (2008) notes, "that Dutch women rank consistently low, compared to those in other Western countries, in terms of representation in top positions in business and government—and rank consistently near the top in terms of happiness and well-being." Interesting, no? I haven't read the book, but now I'm intrigued.
Anyhow, I delight in what God has called me to today- not because it's any easier, or inherently better, or whatever. I delight because in obedience to God I am not a slave to this world. Now for the job of scrubbing the tub, prepping meals, and organizing all those pre-maternity clothes that won't be of any use this winter... I should get on that.
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